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Tuesday, July 14, 2009

old men hate me
so i went to a new frozen yogurt store this weekend. have i mentioned how much i love frozen yogurt? i am obsessed with it. OBSESSED I TELL YOU. i think it's just because i can put rainbow sprinkles all over it. i mean, when else do you get to eat rainbow sprinkles? ooh, on donuts. right, i love those too. rainbow sprinkled donuts.. rainbow sprinkles in my fro yo... i'm like a rainbow sprinkle a holic!!!!

so yeah.. i'm walking into the store and this old guy runs in front of me and yells at me "I WAS HERE FIRST!!!" hence my first clue that i've just encountered a little crazy. anyway, mr crazy proceeds to harass the poor girl working there. he's like "is this frozen yogurt? well HOW DO I KNOW IT'S FROZEN YOGURT?? what flavors do you have? ARE THEY ALL FROZEN YOGURT???? are you sure? so how do i do it? why are all the cups the same size? IS THIS FROZEN YOGURT???"

before the poor girl burst into tears, i took over. i told mr crazy that it was all frozen yogurt. that you pay by the weight of the fro yo, so he can put as much as he would like into that cup. i gave him the small things for tasting and he was like, "I DON'T WANT THAT!" by this point i'm having to stop myself from cracking up cause apparently, crazy makes me laugh.


mr crazy left and i was trying to make my fro yo with RAINBOW SPRINKLES when mr crazy came back in the store! he walked up to me and said "you have a beautiful shape." i almost dropped my fro yo. then he said in a nasty tone, "don't get fat!!!!!" and he went on some diatribe about taco bell and burger king and i was thinking to myself how mr crazy must really know me cause i just had taco bell that day for lunch. (and little did i know, but i'd be having burger king later that night) with one more "DON'T GET FAT! DO YOU HEAR ME?" he was gone.

i laughed. i hurried home to tell everyone at my house what just happened. i laughed more. and then i blogged about it. and i'm probably getting fat just by sitting here.

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Monday, July 13, 2009

if jennster's rockin
don't come a knockin.. did i write that already in a recent post? i probably did because once again, i'm sitting here feeling like i'm rocking on the waves. i'm not complaining though. you'll never hear me complain about getting to spend the entire day on a boat, in water. well, unless the boat capsizes and we're in the middle of the ocean with no one around and people drown and die and stuff.... then i'll probably complain. but as long as we're chilling on a freaking lake.. i'm cool.

this past weekend i got to take blake to a giant/padres game (go padres). the best thing is, i can introduce this kid to all sorts of tv & movie celebrities, singers, etc and he's just chillen. but you introduce that kid to some major league baseball players, and he loses his mind. the funniest thing this weekend was when he got to shake hands with these guys and they signed a baseball for him. he had the goofiest grin on his face and he had to go sit down on a golf cart cause he was going to pass out. HE WAS FREAKING OUT! and then he yells at me when i ask him if he's ok. i guess i should be happy that the guys who make him get all silly and totally crazy inside are not celebrities or singers, but athletes. which is also why i get super pissed off when athletes do stupid things (suck it manny).

i also took some fun engagement type pictures for my good friends jimmy and loree. there is this exposed brick wall downtown and everytime i see it, i think sexy. i knew what i wanted them to do on that brick wall, but as you can see from the pics... loree was way too uncomfortable. i totally should have gotten her drunk first. jimmy was fine though and he did exactly what i wanted, but her body language isn't having any of this nonsense (they'll probably kill me for putting this up here).
lj11

whatever.. here are some non sexy shots. lol

lj21

lj16-

lj4

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Thursday, July 09, 2009

your life's list-
people always talk about "their list"... you know, the things they want to do before they die. and for the most part, it seems like everyone has a.lot.of.stuff they want to do. i find that i'm kind of hard pressed to really think about shit i want to DO before i croak. for me, it's more like places i want to visit. i guess i should sit down, and truly think about this before i post it. but you know, i won't... so here goes

when i think about lists like this, or read other people's- it doesn't really resonate. i mean, people say they want to bungee jump, or skydive, or climb mt everest.. shit like that. i don't have those kinds of things on my list. i don't even think about them really. i feel like i don't have THINGS i want to do. i mean, if i want to do something, i go do it.

for me, it's more about things or places i want to see. and not really the things for the most part- more the places. i think the older i get, the more i want to travel and experience the world. this is going to sound extremely stupid (like i care) but when we went to vegas last year, walking around hotels like the venetian and the paris- it made me almost crazy!!! i was dying looking at the architecture and the style and everything about both of those hotels. it made me want the real things so badly. and i remember turning to boyfriend and telling him that i wanted to go to both of those places in real life. we HAVE to travel. we HAVE to go see these places. and that's my list i guess. that's where i feel like i "have" to do things- i have to travel.

there are only a handful of places i truly want to visit. i mean, if i died and didn't see these places, i don't think i'd be up in heaven all annoyed about it. but if i don't go to italy before i die, you're going to have one extremely pissed off ghost on your hands. i'll be a traveling pissed off ghost, but still pissed.
  • i want/must go to italy or my life will not be complete

there are other places i'd really like to see. i'd like to go to:

  • paris
  • london
  • ireland
  • greece
  • australia
  • germany

and then there are states i'd like to visit here. i think whenever people think about traveling, they always immediately look outside of their own country. but every state in our own country is so different! i still want to visit:

  • tennessee
  • north carolina
  • alabama
  • mississippi
  • kentucky

i'm kind of obsessed with the south... i've already been to georgia, south carolina and louisiana, but in all honesty, i'd like to go back to all 3 places and see more. but i want to visit new places first before i do a round 2, you know?

so what's on your list? do you have things you want to do, or places you want to see?

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Tuesday, July 07, 2009

if cats are soooooo cool
then how come EVERY SINGLE CAT OWNER who wants to prove to you how cool their cat is, says things like.. "my cat doesn't act like a cat.. it acts like a dog."

if the only thing that makes your cat cool is it acting like an animal it isn't... THEN WHY HAVE A STUPID CAT AT ALL?!?!?!

if you want a cat that acts like a dog.... get a dog.

dogs rule.

cats suck.

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Monday, July 06, 2009

proof that i'm crazy while sleeping
listen to this fucked up dream i had the other night. i am a crazy bitch. i mean, literally.

so boyfriend and i are at some random house and the freaking guy from twilight is there and apparently i'm going to be having sex with him. there's a bedroom with 2 beds in it and we're going in there, and boyfriend is going to sleep in the other bed. and i'm complaining telling them that i'm not going to fuck this guy if boyfriend is sitting right next to me the whole time.. that's messed up... he should at least go in the OTHER room and leave me alone!

well then i had to go take buffy (yes, the vampire slayer) to her friends house so that boyfriend could sleep in her room and that ended up taking all night. i was driving back FINALLY getting to screw this guy when the sun was coming up. well boyfriend meets me outside and is talking about how he thinks he had an affair. i was like "what do you mean you THINK you had an affair?!?!" and i was losing my shit. he said it wasn't physical at all, but he would talk to this chick for hours... basically some sort of emotional bullshit. but he was telling me that it wasn't even about him- he would listen to her all the time... and now she was going crazy saying that she was going to tell me all about her and whatever. so i asked how old she was. and he said "19." and i was like "WELL OF COURSE SHE IS GOING TO GO CRAZY! SHE IS A STUPID 19 YEAR OLD GIRL!!! SHE IS PROBABLY IN LOVE WITH YOU AND THINKS YOU TOTALLY LED HER ON AND SHE PROBABLY WANTS YOU TO SPLIT UP WITH ME SO YOU GUYS CAN BE TOGETHER!! YOU ARE SO STUPID! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS WITH SOMEONE SO YOUNG AND STUPID?!?!?"

and i was pissed.off.

HA! i love how boyfriend is the devil in this, and my fucking some other guy (which never ended up happening) is totally fine and normal.

what crazy dreams do you have?!

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Sunday, July 05, 2009

robots in disguise? my head hurts.
i'm having a pirates moment where all my hopes and dreams and super fangirl excitement is crushed to pieces after watching what i was looking forward to seeing since i heard of it's planning! i'm so sick of looking forward to sequels, just hoping for the same type of crap that was so enjoyable in the first one, only to have it be a royal load of shit.

in short, transformers 2 hurt my fucking brain and disappointed me in the same way that only a guy can.

i think the problem is that once there's a sequel... people start getting crazy. they start thinking that there has to be this ridiculously complicated plot, with about 300 billion storylines running through it the whole time. oh, and as long as you literally, sit the audience down and tell them what is going on and what needs to be done, everything will be fine.

WELL IT'S NOT FINE!

you sat me down.
you told me what had to happen and why.
but then i spent the whole fucking time trying to remember everything you just told me and attempted to keep straight just who the hell was who in the movie.. and oh yeah, that decepticon has red eyes, but he's not bad.. and oh that one is going to be good now because he wants to hump megan fox's leg.

what?!?!?!?

you heard me.

i have a splitting headache and i can only assume that it is because of this movie. i wanted to love it. i wanted it to be just as fun as the first one. i like watching robots fight eachother and kick ass. i like action stuff. plus, ilm does amazing visual effects. i love the stuff they do more than a 17 year old loves megan fox's ass. and i like shia a lot. i think he's naturally funny and i really like his acting style. actually, i want to be friends with him so i'm making that happen.
straying.

can we please stop trying to make everything so damn complicated? stop trying so hard. i think that's when you lose the fun. you try too hard to make it funny. you can't force humor. it's not funny that way. and when you try to make the plot SO involved, it just becomes convoluted and there's no point for all of that. hell, that movies story probably could have been broken up into 4 different movies. when you try too hard to be everything to everyone, you end up being like this movie- a headache i just want to go away (but give me bumblebee).

have we learned something from this? please tell me we've learned something from this. KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID. use the same recipe from the first one and stick with it. if the first movie was funny because of SUBTLE (not lines like "i am under his scrotum") humor, than keep doing that. the hanging balls probably would have been funnier had they not been pointed out. the storyline didn't take a notebook to follow and red eyes were bad, non red eyes were good. stop confusing me!

i have to stop before my head exlodes...

this? this is probably the best, funniest, and truest freaking Q&A about transformers 2 i've read yet. laughing.out.loud.

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Friday, July 03, 2009

they don't write songs like this anymore
...i know i always swoon and go crazy for brad paisley whenever he releases a new album. BUT THIS IS WHY:

listening to a brad paisley cd for the first time, is like having an experience with almost each and every song. boyfriend and i will sit together and listen to the cd with eachother because the songs are just that good. (although he'll comment that i listened to some without him and he's right cause it's really hard to wait, but i did because i didn't want to experience all the songs for the first time without him.) his songs make me laugh out loud when i hear them for the first time. and they've made me start bawling. i get really excited when brad has new stuff coming out because i can't wait to take time out of my day to sit down and truly take in all of his new music. i am telling you- it is a freaking EXPERIENCE. his songs take you on a ride. in a deeper way than most. and i think it's rare that a singer is that touching. but it's probably because he writes all of his own songs. i think it's easier to make people laugh and cry if they know that the lyrics you're singing came from inside you. that the stories are possibly true. that you probably love your wife as much as you sing about loving her. that you probably did go to the grocery store and fill up 2 shopping carts with just beer. i don't understand why more artists don't write their own lyrics. how fucking hard can it be? write about what you know- write about what you experience, the things you do. that makes a good song. idiots. they can't all be brad paisley's. and i guess that's alright with me.

anyway, bp is amazing and awesome and plays one hell of a mean guitar. if you like country, you will love him (if you don't already). i will admit that this latest cd is not my most favorite, but he still has great songs that you can't help but love.
song #4 "then" made me cry the first time i heard it... cause i'm a pussy.
song #3 "welcome to the future" maybe me laugh and smile and totally shake my head like YES and feel immense pride...
song #11 "catch all the fish" made me laugh out loud LOUD.. more than once!
i'm proud to say that i've always been a fan of brad's since his very first album and i look forward to everything he has to come (and brad, thank you for your music)!


but the number one song of the summer?
the entire black eyed peas cd. if anything is going to be rocking this summer, it's this whole disc. specificially songs:

#2- rock that body
#3- meet me halfway
#5- i gotta feeling
#6- alive
#9- party all the time


this cd is freaking awesome and has amazing beats and crazy fun lyrics. most of the songs on this cd that you don't like when you first hear, will totally grow on you (but a couple of them suck, plain and simple and there is no fixing them). for the most part, this cd is SO SUPER FUN you won't get tired of it. it's been on constant rotation since i bought it almost a month ago! it IS summer- fun, dancey, upbeat, lighthearted, fun lyrics, good times, all over party disc. this cd rocks. bring it to your 4th of july party!!

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